Healing, Health & Hard Truths: My Raw Post-Surgery Update

This episode is different—raw, makeup-free, and straight from the heart, just six days after my unexpected surgery. I open up about the reality of facing health scares as a solo parent, the loneliness and vulnerability that come with recovery, and the deep gratitude I’ve found in the process.

You’ll get a behind-the-scenes look at what really happened, from the initial symptoms and medical uncertainty to the relief of a benign diagnosis and the challenges of healing alone. I share the emotional rollercoaster of relying on the NHS, the impact on my freedom lifestyle, and the lessons I’m learning about rest, self-care, and the importance of community.

One of the most powerful realisations from this experience? We’re not meant to do life alone. I talk candidly about how much we all need a village—a true support network—and why rebuilding that sense of community matters now more than ever.

Whether you’re navigating your own health journey, craving honest conversation about solo motherhood, or simply need a reminder to appreciate your wellbeing, this episode is for you. Expect real talk about boundaries, the power of support networks, why health truly is wealth, and how even in the hardest moments, there are gifts and growth.

If my story gives you permission to be vulnerable or reminds you to cherish your health, I hope you’ll reach out and share your thoughts. And if you want to start your own journey to a freedom-based lifestyle, DM me the word “freedom” on Instagram for instant access to my mini course.

Thank you for being part of my community. Your support means everything!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

okay guys so this update is going to be a little bit different but for very good reason so i'm only six days post surgery so we're doing a makeup free raw honest vulnerable There are definitely lessons in here, but it's also more of a life update format for those that wanted to know what the surgery was about, what my medical issues were and what recovery looks like. So let's dive into that. I will probably be even wafflier than normal. Forgive, my brain is probably not firing exactly the way that it should, but that's okay. If you watched the first ever episode of this podcast that was incredibly raw and incredibly real, I'm going to try not to cry on this one. But that kind of set a precedent for me of being open and honest and wanting everybody to just... I was going to say know the truth, but it's not that I ever hid the truth. It's just that actually experience things with me because what I did with the first episode is I basically walked you through all of the things that happened to me, all of the trauma, all of the really, really challenging stuff that happened to me over the previous few years. Now, this one is not that. It's because I've done that already. And it's going to go where it goes. There are going to be some down moments in this, but there are also going to be some really positive things to come out of it. And what I want for you guys is that everything has got lessons in it, right? I might be a coach. People pay me to look at their lives, to advise them, to bring... wisdom and healing and all of those modalities to them. But it doesn't mean that I'm not a human being, I'm not infallible. There's not way more layers of healing, way more layers of knowledge, of enlightenment to go. And I've actually found this, I'm finding deep gratitude for this journey and this healing and this surgery and these medical interventions because I've learned a lot. And I suppose I just want to come on and tell you what I've been up to. I know that I got so many people, so many messages from my podcast previously concerned about me, sharing love, telling me that I was giving them permission to be vulnerable by showing up here and doing this. So that is my hope for you guys, that if you needed a sign to open up to people, that this is it. And if you care about me, if you've been following my journey, if you're just interested, then I'm going to tell you all about the medical stuff in a not TMI version. So I have found this process super vulnerable because guess people see me as strong i guess i see myself as strong i guess i wear that with pride i very much talk about and espouse the virtues of like polarity and you know feminine being feminine being masculine etc and i am very much am in my soft girl era. I'm a mum now. Obviously you can see the babies here. I'm a mum to both Wilbur and Ocean and all the things. So it's not like I go through the world portraying this veneer of strength. I encourage people to be vulnerable and I have been. But I still think because of my entrepreneurial nature, because of just my natural personality, I guess, I still sit in that category in a lot of people's minds. So there's been times before where I have felt this vulnerability that's kind of automatic. So when I started a business, funnily enough, so I started my first company over 10 years ago now, and it was off the back of being a lawyer. So when you're a lawyer... You're not very vulnerable. Well, that's a sweeping statement. And of course, not true as a person you are, but from a career perspective, you're not. But then when I started a business, I was blown away by the amount of people who automatically knew that I needed help because I'd never started a business before. This time around, it's been different because obviously I'm quite adept at business and I'm maybe less vulnerable than I was in my 20s when I started a company. But that was one juncture where I was like, oh, OK, people automatically know this. That's interesting. And sort of rallied to that. help, if you will. The second and most obvious reason was when I was pregnant. And that was profound for me. I talk about this a lot. People do not support you enough in business. If you have got a business, I would put money on the fact that you're disappointed that your friends and family do not do more to support your business. And if that is you, I'm sorry that that's your experience, but it's very, very common. It's something that clients talk to me about a lot. It's something that I've experienced myself, and I still do, like when I put posts out on social media, the people who are more likely to engage in them are people I don't know on the internet than my actual friends, and that, it's hurtful, but that's actually not why I came on here to talk about, but The vulnerability that you have in pregnancy and in sickness is a universally understood vulnerability. And I think that's what I was getting at with the business. The reason people don't support you in business is because they don't understand. Okay, again, sweeping statement. So you may have haters out there, you may have people who are looking at your stuff and not wanting you to succeed in the way that they should, and I'm sorry about that. But most people will be doing that, not supporting your business, because they just don't understand how much it means to you, how much you need those shares, those likes, those social engagement, the encouragement, people to ask you how you are. But when you're pregnant or when you're sick, people have had that in their own experience. Therefore, they'll generally step up. And people were amazing to me when I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it. I was like, like, you know, probably a story for another day. But the same when you're sick, people have a universal understanding of it. But I found this time to be very much lonelier than others. And I guess it's because... of where I am at in my healing journey. I guess it's because my surgery was, it wasn't emergency surgery, but it was booked in within a week and that's on the NHS. So that's not like, that's not a typical thing, right? So yeah, I found this quite lonely. I found it quite, I've been feeling quite vulnerable. I've felt like definitely like, my call to the freedom lifestyle and like tribal living which I'll talk about a little bit later is is just getting stronger it's just this is this experience has really validated some of the more out there think thoughts I have about freedom lifestyle which I'll talk about later I should not be spinning on this chair I shouldn't be moving stitches I'll try and stay still I'm not very good at that um so yeah so talk about the medical stuff for a second so I've been on a journey and it's been a journey that's lasted quite a long time. I alluded to it in my first podcast where I talked about like a physical health and thanks be to God, this is not actually serious, serious physical stuff, right? But I didn't know that until, well, six days ago when I came around from the general anaesthetic and they told me what it was. So, but I've always known like, in my heart, in my gut, that I wasn't poor enough for it to be super, super serious. But I have had to go through quite a lot of worry and challenge about this. So a little while ago, I started to feel like really quite fatigued. And I'm a very high energy person, and I'm like a poster child for ADHD, moving around, not sitting still. So fatigue is not the one for me. It's not the one for anybody, but definitely was not helping me. But because I've been through so much, you know, there was a lot of, oh, well, could that be a throwback from the PTSD? Could it be this? You know, you're under a lot of stress, you're a single mom, et cetera, et cetera. So all of that was valid, but I was just like, no, like I'm going to keep digging at this because there's something behind it. So keep digging, keep digging. So it turns out I'm anemic. So that was not going to be helpful for fatigue. But then I was like, well, why am I anemic? And, you know, very much standard procedure to be like, you're anemic. Here's some iron tablets. Off you go. And then I was like digging into it. So I made sure I got more tests, which revealed that I needed to have a colonoscopy, which I had in April. which made my 40th birthday suck quite a bit because it was at my, I was abroad for my 40th. So when I was back home the following week, I had that hanging over my head. They did find a lump and they did remove it, but it was benign. So that was really, and it was, to be honest, really fortunate because it's a sort of lump that if they hadn't have found it, may not have stayed benign. So I am fine. There is nothing wrong with me, but I didn't know that. But they didn't know that at the time they removed it. be monitored because of that so that is actually a blessing but at the same time I had a larger lump that was outside of my organs because I could feel it in my groin and that's basically what I've had the surgery to rectify so again I've been on a journey with that because of the colonoscopy because of the test results, I was on a fast track with the NHS, which I'm very grateful for. But even that fast track is taken sort of February till now in July, that sort of length of time to figure out. And there has been times where this has been misdiagnosed. So they thought it could be different things. At one point I was told it was a cyst, which is obviously something not very serious at all, but still needed to be removed. Then the week before, the surgeon was like, I don't think this is a cyst. It's a lump. We don't know what it is. We're going to have to have it sent to be biopsied. And yeah, it's a large lump to be biopsied. That's obviously very scary. Again, my gut told me that this was not told me that this was not going to be a hugely serious medical thing because I wasn't that poorly but still nobody wants to be told those words that you're going to have to wait for histology like 10 to 14 days to figure this out anyway I went in to have my operation last week on that basis they had to do it under general anaesthetic I'm not going to lie like that's really scary like Again, it was minor surgery, but to be put to sleep and to lose control in that way is just, yeah, it's just really, really scary. And when you become a parent, if you already are one or you're thinking about becoming one, it's the best thing ever, but it changes your relationship to your own health. Like, you become this vessel that needs to survive, that needs to prioritise your own health, because if you're not able to do that, then you're not able to be there for your children. And that's scary. That's scary, scary stuff. So being put to sleep hit differently this time. I... still have the frame of reference though which is rather helpful i've faced my worst ever fear my worst ever fear was losing ocean and i faced that with her surgery so this was comparatively a walk in the park to that but still me being her mum still felt yeah So anyway, I had the surgery and when I woke up, it actually was not a lump that they needed to dissect, sorry, that they needed to remove and send off for surgery. I actually had a rare type of a hernia. So it's called a femoral hernia. So it's in my groin. So I've had that basically put back into place and in all likelihood that was caused by pregnancy because I carried such a big baby. Ocean was very large when she was born and I carried really big. So yeah, basically your abs can't take that and it basically causes a gap where your core should be attached. So that's been reattached and oh, of my internal organs and everything is where they should be. So that is wonderful, wonderful news. I'm not waiting for any lab results. I will heal from this and I will be the best version, healthiest version of myself. The bad news is that the recovery from hernia surgery is quite a lot longer than I'd anticipated. And obviously I didn't have any warning, right? So I wasn't told in the run up to it, this is going to take X amount of days. I was just told that, yeah, you'll be in and out and you'll need to recover from minor surgery. So when you're a single parent, that's kind of hard work because there's nobody else there. There's no one else to pick up those pieces. Well, let's make a distinction. It's not a single parent, as in when you're a solo parent, when you're doing this on your own, there is no other parent in the picture that is taking any caring responsibilities whatsoever. So, yeah, that's a bit of a problem, guys. And it's been, yeah, it's led to this conversation and this realisation about vulnerability and how I, yeah, how I relate to others and the support that we've got and, yeah, It's been hard. It's been really challenging because people, you know, everybody's got their own lives, right? Their own families, their own immediate circle. And because, like I said, my surgery was booked in in such a quick fashion, you know, everybody's busy. People have got their own things to do. And I completely understand that. But it's been really lonely. Like, it's been really lonely. It's been quite sad. It's been... You know, in the movies, somebody is sick or they have an operation and, you know, there are people at the hospital beds with flowers. In the UK, you're not actually allowed to come to people's hospital beds anymore unless they're in, like, as in recovery from surgery. But yeah, I don't know if I'm a little bit naive in terms of the Hollywood dream that you are sold of that. But yeah, so that's been a little bit challenging. And I guess it led me to a lot of introspection around healing. And I don't mean physical healing from surgery, stitches, etc. I mean the emotional healing journey that I've been on. So my circle is pretty small. And in a lot of ways, deliberately so. And this is not talked about enough. The more that you heal, the more work that you do on yourself, the more that you are discerning, with your time and who you let in your life and the less you're willing to tolerate of other people's behaviours that don't meet your standards, that don't enhance your life and the amount of people that will meet that threshold will be surprisingly small i saw a meme about this this week um where somebody was basically saying that they're single and like i am and they were basically saying like i'm going to be single forever at this rate because the people out there like it was well and good dating when you know toxic relationships were on the table and when you didn't have the the self-love and all of that behind you but once you do and once you know what you're looking for the pool is small and that's a tangent because i'm not talking about dating i'm just talking about general life but yeah um i have been given an opportunity to reflect on a lot of things and That was also something that came to me. I was just like, I cannot believe that this is like the first time I've chilled in... I don't know, like so long. And you know that I advocate, I'm not talking about that I'll burn myself into the ground working really, really, really, really hard and really, really long hours. Sometimes I do, but most of the time I keep a balance. But my rest is very constructive. It's running, it's exercise, it's swimming, it's travel, it's yoga, it's meditation. I'm doing something. I'm never just like chilling. Like I've watched more television in this last three days than I've watched the entire rest of my life. of the year because i just don't watch tv because i just don't give myself that permission to just do nothing productive and it's not that i don't think rest is productive i do but i always find a constructive way of resting like yoga or meditation or something walking so this has been this has been brand new and you know there's been times that i've enjoyed it um the pain has been minimal i've got to say um they manage my pain really really well I came off the painkillers very early on because they had morphine in them and they were making me feel sick. So although I've had to physically rest and I'm not good at that, I'm not good at it for the reasons I talked about before, like the ADHD stuff, the always on the go, it's forced me to look at things differently. And I've learned a lesson from that. You know, I've loved watching Desperate Housewives. Guilty little pleasure. Yeah. And it's given me a lot of time to think about a lot of things. And I don't want to make this super, super long because I absolutely could talk about this for a very, very long time. So, yeah, I think it's given me a different perspective on rest and on doing nothing because... And I know I don't blame myself for this. You know, I am a single parent. It's tough. You know, like I'm a single parent. I'm a sole provider financially for our family. So, you know, when I get moments and I'm like, oh, I could just do this for the business. You know, I've been doing some really exciting things recently. You'll have seen last week I put out my Freedom Lifestyle mini course, which is literally teaching you guys how to be able to live my lifestyle for free or nearly no money. That's a message that I want out in the world. I want you guys to be able to travel and go away and spend months abroad like I do and it not cost you anything or very very little if that's what you guys want so I put that but that's passive right so that's income that could be made at any point I did, before I went into surgery, say I've not taken on, obviously, any more one-to-one clients. I actually took on three this month already, so that's a great month for my coaching business. But I did say that anybody that wanted to work with me through the courses could message the word freedom on Instagram, and you can still do that now. You could do that if you've been watching... this day you could still message the word freedom and get access to that course it's only £22 at the moment and it's only 22 minutes long so it's a bite sized piece of information to get you started on the travelling and the freedom lifestyle particularly at the moment because I know it's obviously school holidays and people are looking for ways to do that so that's all there for you I hope that helps but I was talking, sorry, I've lost my train of thought. I was talking about how busy I am. That was it. So I don't blame myself entirely because I'm a single parent. So even if I get downtime, I'm usually doing some life admin or booking some trip or doing something. But yeah, so this has been interesting from that perspective. also i've got that thing where you'll all have experienced it before but i am in joy right now like i am so happy and so little even though like things are not perfect i'm only six weeks post healing i've still got obviously the bandages on i still got the stitches to dissolve and all of the things i am just in joy because i'm getting my life back again you know when you've been ill or hungover, or if you've ever recovered from surgery yourself, you go through that point where you could only see how poorly you were and how shitty things were retrospectively. So when I was... like a couple of days post-surgery, I was a bit like, I obviously was feeling really unwell, but I couldn't really tell how unwell I was. And now I'm like feeling much, much, much better and I can shower. I've washed my hair again. You know, I'm getting those little tiny pieces of life back that we take for granted. Showering, you know, eating full meals, time with my daughter. I obviously can't fully, um, look after her yet, but like, you know, hugs. And again, I've been able to go out in the garden. I've actually got a bit of a tan. Like 10 out of 10 recommend having surgery in the British summertime because even when all I could do was shuffle outside and sit on a bench outside, that was just amazing. Like just to get the sun on my face, to be out in nature is one of my things that heals me. So highly, highly recommend that. Um, yeah, so I'm at that point of recovery where, yes, I've got a long way to go. So this surgery will be eight to 12 weeks before I can lift things, which is hard work. I am going to have to figure out how I can get from A to B because I live in the middle of nowhere. I live in the countryside with quite a property to maintain. For example, I've got two gardens, so if I can't lift anything, I can't tend to the garden. It definitely can't be left for 12 weeks. Yeah, so I'm still going to have to figure that out. That's a TBC plan between you and I. Considering booking us into an all-inclusive resort because then all my meals will be made and... I wouldn't have to do any cleaning or looking after myself. So that feels like a win, but again, that's all building the parachute on the way down type of stuff. And yeah, I mean, I suppose it's made me realise or made me think on my version of the freedom lifestyle, obviously being bed bound and not able to move around very much is not freedom. I manage, my neurodiversity quite heavily with exercise, even if that's walking, my peloton bike, swimming, running, all of that stuff. I'm not allowed to do any of it right now, which sucks, but I have got this new relationship with health right now and I hope I keep it, I really do, because I'm just a little bit obsessed at the moment about what I'm putting in my body. My nutrition has never been better because I just feel really like I'm so grateful for my health I'm so grateful to still be here I'm so grateful to be healing the way that I am that I just want to do right by my body right now so I'm like eating the healthiest that I've ever eaten I hope that I keep that up um please keep me accountable because I would love to be sat here in one or two months time being like I've kept that up guys like my I've got lots of healthy habits already but I'm not always great at the nutrition side. So that's something that hopefully sticks. But yeah, just gratitude for health. Before this, I put a post out on LinkedIn and at the bottom of it said, health is wealth. And it really is. You have nothing if you're not coming from a place of health. I don't care how much money you've got. I don't care what material possessions that you own. or things that you're able to do if you're not healthy, then that's got to be the number one priority. And that revolves around, even like business coaching, we'll still look at health, right? Because it's just super important because if we're not firing on all cylinders, we're not going to perform in any area of our life as well as we could do. So yeah. I'm super, super grateful for that. And hopefully making some positive changes. Like I'm saying, I'm trying to draw anything out of this that is positive going forward. So yeah, like some of the freedom lifestyle stuff that I think about and I hope in 10 years time that I've started some really significant movement and somebody finds this podcast where 200 people viewed it 10 years ago and thinks, wow, that was the start of something really major. But I'm kind of obsessed with the human race from, is it an anthropological perspective? Is that the right word? I'm not sure that it is, but... from our history and I have this deep, deep feeling that we are not living in alignment of the way that we were meant to. AKA we grew up living in tribes. We evolved as a species by living in community. So when somebody had a baby, it was not just the responsibility of the person who'd given birth to said child to raise them. We had a village. You know that village they talk about parenting? That village was an actual village of people, of community that all took collective responsibility raising that child and everybody had a job within that community and i think that was just such a beautiful way of living i'm not taking away from the great stuff that we have now the healthcare the um technology you know i'm not an anti um progress i'm not even anti-ai in a lot of ways but But there is something about that raw, historic version of how we were meant to live that we've come so far away from that I find it really upsetting. And I just have this desire to do something about it. So watch this space. Quite what that is, I'm not sure. I know that I bring community together through... um like social platforms and things like that but it just doesn't feel like it's enough it feels like i need to kick that up into such a more significant level and you know i am never happier than when i'm barefoot in nature so on the sand on on a beach swimming in the sea for example or just in in the garden just like in this country it doesn't have to be a travel related thing but I think that simpler life is something that I hanker for. I've been really, really interested to know if that's what other people have a vision of. You know, you're welcome to talk to me directly or leave comments below because Yeah, I think, I don't know many people who feel like they've got that village, who feel like they've got enough support around them when they're parenting their children, or just for them, like you don't have to have kids to be involved in this conversation, just enough support. People talk about this loneliness pandemic all the time. You know, I felt, I've talked about in this video, the ways that I'm feeling that at the moment. So yeah, it's a conversation to be had. And thank you for listening. Thank you for everybody that has wished me well so far on my recovery journey. I've still got approximately 7 to 11 weeks to go. But as you can see, I am dressed. I am on the way. And I'm very, very grateful for that. I am very, very... grateful for the lessons that I've learned in this, for the people that have been involved in my care, and for you guys for listening to me talk about it. So thank you. We will probably resume, well, I'd say normal scheduling from the next episode. I can't drive at the moment, so maybe not exactly that format, but sooner or later I will be able to. And like I said, I hope that this leads to a period of convalescing somewhere abroad. If you want, yeah, if you want the Freedom Lifestyle mini course, comment on LinkedIn, sorry, comment on Instagram, the word freedom, and you'll be sent the links to it straight away to buy it. It's got some really great tips in it for travel, housing. hacks, strategies. So that's awesome. And I will be posting a picture on LinkedIn, which is why I said LinkedIn before. I'll be posting a picture of LinkedIn about how I ended up in this mess, how I ended up with this particular requirement for surgery in the form of a very, very heavily pregnant version of me. So when I go back on LinkedIn, that's probably where I'll post it and I'll probably share a little bit more about the story there. So, guys, as ever, if you want to join my mailing list on LaurenRiley.co.uk, that's the first place you'll get any updates. And have a wonderful week. If you are going through any health struggles yourself, I really hope my sharing this so honestly helps you guys. And if you are not and you are in good health, please take a moment to be grateful for it. Because like I said, it is all that really matters. Health is wealth.