Success Decoded: Redefining What It Means to You Part 2

Continuing on from part one... Ever feel like you're chasing someone else's definition of success? You're not alone. For too many ambitious women, achievement feels hollow when it doesn't align with who we truly are. 

As a female success strategist, I've seen this pattern repeatedly - we compartmentalize ourselves into "professional" and "personal" versions, never allowing the two to meet. This separation creates a fundamental disconnect that prevents genuine fulfillment, no matter how many external goals we achieve. The water bottle I brought to this presentation (borrowed from my three-year-old daughter) perfectly symbolizes this truth: authentic success comes when we stop pretending to be perfectly polished professionals and start bringing our whole selves to everything we do.

Success begins with reconnecting to your intuition - that inner voice many women have been systematically taught to ignore since childhood. When operating from our feminine energy, having done the inner work of aligning with our authentic selves, we become truly magnetic, attracting the right opportunities rather than exhausting ourselves chasing external validation.

The framework I share helps you identify your unique values (which might surprise you!), create practical systems for living by them daily, and build your success strategy across five key pillars: wealth, freedom, transformation, balance, and fulfillment. Through real-life examples from my own journey as an entrepreneur and single mother who spends winters in the Caribbean with my daughter, I demonstrate how apparent limitations can be overcome when your definition of success is truly your own.

Ready to transform how you approach success? This episode provides actionable strategies for mapping your exit (knowing what success means before you begin), implementing regular value check-ins, and creating accountability systems that accelerate your progress. Your version of success is waiting - let's define it together.

✨ Ready to Redefine Success on Your Terms? ✨

If this episode resonated with you, imagine what’s possible when we dive deeper together. Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply ready to elevate your life and career, my coaching programs are designed to help high-achieving women like you find clarity, balance, and transformation.

💡 Start Your Journey Today:

• Book a 1-Hour Success Strategies Session for just £149 and walk away with an actionable plan tailored to your unique goals.
• Explore my Exclusive 1:1 Success Coaching to create lasting change and unlock your full potential.

🔗 Click here to book your session or DM me for more details. Let’s make success feel as good as it looks! 💖

Transcript

Success Through Personal Authenticity

Speaker 1 0:00

think um is probably helpful to you guys is for me to give you an example of that what success feels like . I'm just going to take a little um break and um , as I was preparing to come here , I was looking for a fancy glass to bring um on and I found my daughter's water bottle , and so I am a mum to a three-year-old girl and you know what I thought . This is perfect . This is symbolic of my life . My life is not always like super shiny together . Um , for example , that water bottle probably should be with her in preschool . Um , they do have other water bottles and jugs available , but that's why I got it out this morning and it's not . We'll all drop the ball , we'll all make mistakes , and if you come to work with me , what you'll get is honesty and real um , real life examples , and that is just one of them . Um , and also , I thought it was really emblematic , symbolic of just showing up for yourself , like my .

Speaker 1 1:04

The strap line on my website is that I help women marry their personal values and professional ambition . There are too many of us walking around pretending to be two different people , and it's just not good for us . We're professional lauren and we're personal lauren and never the twain shall meet , and actually I don't think that's healthy . I think there are appropriate professional boundaries . Don't get me wrong . I have been a solicitor , um , but you know , I believe in bringing all of yourself to something , um , particularly a business , particularly to a role , and I think that is how you become magnetic , that's how you attract clients and how you attract opportunities to yourself that you wouldn't have had ordinarily . And I'm not going to go off on a massive tangent about this , but presumably you know , if you've heard of the concept of masculine and feminine energy . Like , when we're in our feminine energy , we're attracting opportunities to us . We become magnetic like we've done the work , we're sitting in our power and the opportunities are coming to us . And that is not , not in part , because we've done something like I'm walking you through

The Importance of Defining Success

Speaker 1 2:14

today . We've done something like this framework where we're saying no to things , but we're saying no to things that don't align with our value and it . It can be challenging and I understand why people come to a coach to do it like they need that support to feel empowered to go forward . But once you've done it and once you've got a freight like your own unique version of this framework , then you know it becomes cookie cutter , and then you were saying no to things that don't line up with us and yes to everything that does .

Speaker 1 2:44

So what does success mean to us ? So let me tell you a personal story . So I was actually so , as I mentioned at the start of this , I'm a public speaker . So I was on stage a couple of weeks ago actually on stage because it was held at a theatre which I thought was just hilarious no jokes about me being dramatic , but um . So I was on actual stage with the spotlights and everything , and I was talking to this group of entrepreneurs about , um , mistakes that I've made in business and like tips for success and like kind of the business mentoring side of things , and I realized in that moment that I had actually walked past the most important piece of advice that I had I could ever be given , and it's part of the seed of what I now do for work . Like I'm a female success strategist . I help people map out what success means to them , and somebody early on .

Speaker 1 3:43

So my company was a venture-backed business . We raised over a million pounds and at the time that that came with quite a lot of like free quote-unquote nothing's ever free in this world , free mentorship from investors and people like in business , um , and I'm just gonna go off on a tangent there about free business advice , but I won't . So this came with this advice about map your exit . So my business was being built to scale , to be sold , to exit Right , and the person said map your exit because you need to know that at the start . And basically what they were telling me without telling me was that I needed to define what my success was . Now I ran past this piece of advice because and I didn't dismiss it by the way I didn't think , oh , that's not good advice , I knew it was , but what I didn't do , or I didn't know , was how to do it . It's all well and good knowing that you need to do something , but nobody then stuck around to say actually I'm qualified in positive psychology , let me walk you through this , or I've done . You know , I got some experience in business and this I , I failed in these ways . Let me make sure you don't fail that way . So just left with that standalone piece of advice . It wasn't enough to implement and I didn't do that piece of work .

Speaker 1 5:02

So whenever like and I've talked about this already , whenever I was successful and I was hitting those metrics and I was getting all of the accolades and people were reaching out to me left , right and center telling me how successful I was , it didn't feel like success because it wasn't . It wasn't success to me and that's why I'm like obsessed with this , because when we get to the transform part of my framework and we start working together to get you to where six , what success means to you , that's so exciting and we'll move quickly because we've done all the work in in the foreground , we know what it success is , we've removed any barriers and we'll get you there . But the last thing I want you to do is just come to me for the transform bit unless you've done the earlier parts and you genuinely know what that is , because we'll move really fast and what I don't want is clients that get to success and then still don't feel fulfilled . They still don't have that balance that they were seeking all along um , and that's , I guess , why I'm a bit obsessed with the topic . So one of the things that we could talk about right now um is intuition and again , this is a female thing a lot of the time .

Speaker 1 6:17

I've done a podcast about this already , so for anybody that is um hasn't listened to it , so , um , my podcast is called the business of lifestyle . Um , it's quite a new one . Um , I think it's either the second or the third episode . I felt so strongly about this . I did an episode on intuition . In fact , I felt so strongly about it I nearly called the business something an alliteration to do with intuition and I walked away from it in the end . Um , but , um , yeah , um , the podcast is all around .

Speaker 1 6:57

I'll give you a like a high level right now that we , as

Reconnecting With Your Intuition

Speaker 1 7:01

, as children , like through our parental figures or our teachers or the educational environment or adults , they teach us to ignore our intuition . Right , because you know it's , you know , probably , if you don't want to go and hug that uncle or , you know , go into some soft play area , that feels like sensory overwhelm to you , you know it's , it's . We're just for reasons that best described elsewhere , and we're just taught to say , actually , suppress that feeling , suppress that intuition , and we get really blooming good at it . As women , we walk into the workplace and we don't feel comfortable in a certain scenario , or , you know we , we feel like we've been gaslit because you know , actually that's not really how it happened , you know , in that relationship or in that professional context , and instead of doing something about it , we kind of we're convinced that it's it's an us problem and not a not a them problem , um , and one of the biggest tips I think I can give anybody um is to listen to our intuition , is to hone it , and we're all women walking around with lived experience , right , and your , my lived experience will be very different from yours , um , and very different from the next person's , but I bet you , the commonalities for us women are that we are not listening to our intuition in the way that we should and therefore that's a problem , um , and what I would encourage you to do is really listen into that gut feeling like that will help you make decisions , um , over and above the framework , like listening to . If it doesn't feel like there's something off about it , it probably is off to you and that is okay , um . So , um , the next part of what we're going to do then , um .

Speaker 1 9:02

So I think , if I just give you a practical tip and nobody taught me this , actually , but it's just something that I became a little bit obsessed with and it's really helped me I probably should talk about the values piece , the values that you'll come out with . That you'll . You know , like I said , you'll live your life by once . You know this , like what's unique to you actually might not necessarily be what you believe they would be in the first place . So , for an example , mine are

Practical Tips for Living Your Values

Speaker 1 9:32

honesty , appreciation of beauty and excellence , spirituality , perspective and kindness .

Speaker 1 9:39

Now , if you'd have said to me what are your top five values , I wouldn't , I would never have thought kindness was in there . I kind of think I'm the person that you know , like I said before , people think is a bit you know , very straight talking , very quick to talk , get actions across the line , but I wouldn't have necessarily thought people would , um , have associated me with kindness . But actually , if I think about me as a , go back to the feminine archetypes we're talking about before , as a woman , as a mother , as a friend , as a coach , like kindness , you know , and what I'm teaching , what I'm bringing up my daughter , actually it's really important to me , but it's not , it wasn't there on the surface and it wasn't what I was taught to value , I suppose , in the corporate world . So I think your um values may come out differently , um , but the ones that you have got right now , the ones that resonated with you like , um , write them down . This is my practical tip write them down , um , and I think that so many things are important to us . But this tip specifically to your values , um , and if you felt like you wanted to write down the framework , you could do , but for the exercise I'm about to say it's probably a bit long . So we're going to write down our five values and we're going to put them places that we can see , because we want to live by our own values , right ? So I if you see me looking down , it's because I have my um , three things actually uh , written on post-it notes at the bottom of my computer . This is my spare room I now live .

Speaker 1 11:18

Success to me is the fact I live in a beautiful country cottage , very chocolate box , very far from anything , very much at one with nature . But I do implement technology wherever I think I can see a win for it . So I can use a lot of AI , for example , and I'll teach clients and I'll teach you how to do that if you want , but I don't let screens interfere with the balance I have . That's success to me , which is living in nature , which is lots of time walking in the countryside , etc . But this is an example of how technology will be helpful . So we could use I'm going to say chat GPT that's not the AI that I use , but I know it's a freely available service that most people use . So we could use chat GPT here to remind us or , like , do some digging around our values .

Speaker 1 12:10

But I would use the good old fashioned calendar on your phone so you could write your top five values on , say , monday morning at 8 am , get a reminder every single week that that's what you're living by , and it will help you remember the decision making matrix that we've just been through and you're living by those values . So , at eight o'clock every morning of every day , or once a week , once a month , totally , your call , you'll be reminded of that . And actually , am I living by my values today ? It's a really powerful question to ask yourself . Um , and that might be decision making , but you know , let's , let's be fair . Life is a series of hundreds , hundreds of decisions a day , if not thousands of small things . What we're putting in our body , what , when , what nutrition are we eating ? Does that map back to the person that you want to be , the identity that you're creating for yourself .

Speaker 1 13:00

Um , I've personally gone for a really old school approach of writing it on a post-it note and sticking it on my computer . I've had actual physical desktop computer as well as a laptop , the ipad , iphone , etc . And I put it on there because I know I'll be sat at my desk and I only work three days a week because , again , that's my values . I've mapped back . My own version of success is to spend time with my daughter while she's young . That balance to me means a lot , and creative moments like that for women like lights me up . I've done it for myself . Lifestyle design is a big part of what I do . Um , so at least three times a week I will be sat here . I'll be reminded of those values and that reminds me of who I am and that's how I walk through the world , and that's a top tip .

Speaker 1 13:45

So I'm going to , like I said , provide a downloadable worksheet or some sort of summary pdf of this . So if you want to email me , lauren , at laurenrileycouk , or dm me on social media , miss lauren riley , then you're very welcome to , and I shall um endeavor to um get back to you with an ASAP , just so if you miss part of this and you want the recording , then I can send that to you , or , if you think it will be helpful for one of your friends or colleagues , then I can also share it that way , and I guess I suppose the next thing to do is just take a moment to imagine , like a future visualisation , if you will Like , how much more confident are you going to feel when you know that the decisions that you're making and the life that you're living maps back to your values , your specific example and your specific need for success . Like you'll walk through um life a little different , like I said before . Okay , um , so , uh , let me talk about success strategy

Building a Success Strategy Framework

Speaker 1 15:01

sessions . So they are just one off .

Speaker 1 15:06

Success strategy sessions . So they are just one off and one hour like a power hour , if you will where you and I will jump on a zoom , um , and we will like , we will work through the methodologies that we've talked about here . Um , it's obviously limited to just an hour of time . If there's a problem that you've got that you need to solve and you need quick action on it , then I would love to help you with that as a thank you for everybody that's joined today , and there will be an offer for the next 48 hours where I'm actually providing the ebooks that I'm writing over the next 30 , or I've written that I'm releasing over the next 30 days . You'll get completely free of charge if you sign up for a success strategy session within the next 48 hours . They're currently priced at £149 . But you'll get those e-books free of charge .

Speaker 1 15:52

So I'm going to talk about five pillars of I guess you could call them five pillars of success and , again , these are non-negotiables . These are going to be the same for everybody that's sitting here , but what sits within them is where we do the personalisation . So number one is wealth . So wealth isn't just financial . It's about creating opportunities for abundance in every aspect of your life .

Speaker 1 16:19

Now , anybody that's ever suffered with their health or had somebody close to them that suffered , ever suffered with their health or had somebody close to them that suffered . My daughter was born with a really serious condition and when she was only nine weeks old , she was diagnosed . That's how I ended up with PTSD , because of the trauma involved in that postpartum period . She's absolutely fine , by the way , but it taught me at the deepest level how important health is , by the way , but it taught me at the deepest level , how important health is , like , just like to me , that's like underpins everything , right , um ? You see quotes out there and I saw one this morning that says it's only when this one thing is taken away that you'll realize how nothing else mattered . Um , and that thing obviously is health , and that's why I like to talk about the example of .

Speaker 1 17:06

You know , we do things for our health . You know we might go to the gym , go out , running , walking , cycling , swimming maybe we've paid a personal trainer now or in the past . We have , you know , nourish our body , nutrition , like good food now and again , um , we take multivitamins and things like that . But what are we doing for our mind ? And that's why I love coaching so much . I work with coaches as well , um , and it's just , yeah , it's a game-changing experience to invest in your own , um , mental health , but wealth also , including the financial . You know we can't ignore that , particularly as women , like we have to get . We have to get paid for what we do . We have to get paid fairly , and I've got some really killer examples of how I have changed my life around to be able to only work three days while I was in employment and whilst ?

Speaker 1 17:56

Um , as an entrepreneur as well , um and and not compromise financially on that . So , like you know , wealth is important from the financial perspective as well as everything else , but just general life , abundance , freedom . Now , this is interesting because , from a personal perspective , it's probably what I'm best known for . If you were to follow me on instagram , for example , like , I have been out of the country for five out of the last five months , um , and I'm a single mom , so when I travel , I take my daughter , for example , one of those . We were in babados for over a month , um , as a solo parent with no child care . I didn't travel with anybody else . So it's not , it's not necessarily easy to achieve , but it's a lot easier than people think . Like , I sit down with , you know , really high achieving women every week .

Speaker 1 18:45

Entrepreneurs are at the top of their game and they still say to me I don't know how you do it , like I can't do that , or like they have limiting beliefs around it , which is just not true . If freedom-based lifestyle is what you're after , then come speak to me , because I've got loads of advice around that and I would like nothing more than to think of my clients sitting on a beach in this time next week , next week maybe I meant to say this time next year because they've lived that freedom-based lifestyle , um , but freedom is different to everybody . So , for example , my caribbean , my winters in the caribbean , might not be your dream . Your freedom might be , um , getting to go to the gym in the morning or , you know , walking on your lunch break . You know I've reconfigured clients working days and hours to deliver back and what's important to them . Because , again , this is not me projecting what my . I'm giving you examples of my success , but I don't ever project that because your freedom could be completely different to that , because your freedom could be completely different . Kind of an obvious pillar .

Speaker 1 19:48

But transformation , so success , requires growth and it requires courage to step outside of your comfort zone and that's why I think , often working with somebody else , um will deliver maximum results there , like , of course , like you can do it yourself as well . I have we talked about masculine and feminine already , but I have quite a masculine lean to risk taking um . And again , like we're not going to go into childhood psychology , but little boys are brought up or they certainly were in my generation anyway differently to little girls in terms of their risk-taking appetite . I believe and I do think there's a genuine correlation between one's ability to take risks and one's success in life , because you can't succeed without failing at some stuff right trying and failing , and if we stay safe in our lane , then you know we are going to give up what's on the other side and what's on the other side can be fantastic on the other side Fantastic . So , again , transformation comes from , like I said , that marriage of courage and stepping outside of uncomfortable .

Speaker 1 20:56

So balance because and this is why , when I came out as being a strategist and a mentor and a coach , like I said , there's quite a lot of people being super , super niche in that sector . But the reason , like I said , although I'm very , very passionate about the wellness and delivering that for women , I couldn't leave everything I knew about business off the table because it just didn't , as a business for me didn't make any sense , because that's what I'm most known for . People know me as an entrepreneur , um , but one of the reasons why I was like I what I need to help people in this holistic way is exactly this part about balance , because there is no point working with like the best business mentor in the world and being so successful in your business . You've got money dripping out of everywhere , but you're unhappy , you're unfulfilled , you're burnt out , you're tired , your relationships with the people that you love suck Like . That's not success either , is it Ditto ? You know we've got all of our beans in a row over here , and you know we . You know we've got amazing relationships , we've got all the balance over here , but we've not worked on our business or in our career and therefore that's not success either . So the balance part I'm super passionate about and the final one , probably really obvious , but fulfillment . The final pillar will be fulfillment , which comes when you align your values with your purpose , and I see a lot of . It's kind of when I picked up the water bottle before and I talked about the conflict that women have sometimes about showing up in their professional and their personal capacities . If you do this work to align those two things , it is a very different way of walking through the world and that fulfillment is ultimately what we're looking for .

The Five Pillars of Success

Speaker 1 22:55

So a quick tip and you know , obviously , if you're working with somebody like myself , you'll have that baked in , but if you're not , for whatever reason , then and dedicate time for problem solving . Put it in your calendar , like I feel like if you've read any ADHD books or you're familiar with the concept of time boxing I'm not going to talk about it today because it's a big topic but at least put it on your calendar to schedule a weekly power hour and you can think about all of the ways that you all the problems that you've got , that you can get through in that hour . But if you don't put it on your calendar , what ? What's going to happen to you ? And this is why I like booking stuff in with people , because another week's going to go past , another month , another year , etc . Etc . Etc . Our time on this planet is short . We need to make the absolute most of it . So put that time in the diary and I know you'll think . I know what your objection at this point is going to be about how busy you are . But until you do this work , you are going to stay busy because you're not blocking things . Another quick tip so I'm just looking for like quick wins for you at the moment . Another quick tip so I'm just looking for like quick wins for you at the moment um , confidence and accountability .

Speaker 1 24:09

Um , the secret to staying on track is accountability . Again , that will come through working with a professional coach , mentor , um . But you and you will all have examples of this in your own business life , your own career , like when you've had you've got a one to one coming up or somebody set you a kpi or an okr and you're working towards that and you know you're gonna have to sit in a meeting with them in I don't know one week's time . You'd be surprised how you can move mountains at that point . Um , same with a personal trainer , if you know , or you've ever been , you know , part of some sort of health club where they are like I'm not encouraging weight loss here , but , for example , you're getting weighed with a bunch of other people . You're likely to . That's why those systems work so well , because it's accountability um to other people . Yes , work with a professional in whatever field you're trying to be held accountable for if you can . If you can't pick a buddy , that works really well as well .

Speaker 1 25:11

I talked about this on my second podcast , I think , when I talked about goal setting . Having an accountability partner can be really game changing for you , I think . Next I'll just take a moment to talk about a real life um transformation , if I may . So I've worked with a client , uh , called chelsea and she's a ceo , and she will tell you that . Um , she transformed her leadership style , improved her mental health and became more confident in her decision making because of my coaching . It helped her create space to solve real challenges at work while staying focused on her goals .

Speaker 1 25:55

Now , success is more than just achieving goals . It's about living in alignment , as we've talked , about feeling fulfilled and creating a life that you love . Now I'm here to help ambitious women unlock their full potential and accelerate them towards growth . I have whipped through a lot there and I really hope it was helpful . I hope that me giving back in that way was useful to you and feedback how you have become successful as a result of what you've learned here today any tools or strategies or tips

Final Tips and Client Transformation

Speaker 1 26:33

that you've implemented . I'd love to know how you got on with them , and I'm just wishing you so much success with that .