Success Decoded: Redefining What It Means to You- Part 1

What if the goals you're chasing aren't actually leading to success? In this transformative session, I challenge the conventional understanding of success and provide a framework for making decisions that truly align with your authentic self. I recorded this live, part one is packed with tools and tips- part two to follow! 

Most high-achieving women I work with can readily list their professional goals—funding rounds, team expansion, revenue targets—but struggle to articulate what success genuinely means to them on a deeper level. This disconnect explains why so many reach their objectives only to feel strangely unfulfilled. Success isn't a universal checklist; it's deeply personal and requires intentional exploration.

Drawing from my background as an entrepreneur who scaled a business from zero to £100K monthly revenue, and my personal journey through single motherhood, PTSD, and various neurodivergent diagnoses, I share the three-part framework that has transformed both my life and the lives of countless clients: clarity about what success means to you, balance by removing limiting beliefs, and transformation through strategic action.

The heart of this session is a powerful decision-making matrix based on your core values. By identifying your top five strengths and applying five key questions—including the game-changing "Am I making this decision from fear or empowerment?"—you'll gain the ability to evaluate choices with confidence and clarity. This framework helps you recognize that everything you say "yes" to means saying "no" to something else, a perspective that forces intentionality into your calendar and priorities.

Whether you're contemplating a career move, relationship change, or business pivot, this framework provides the mental clarity needed to move forward with conviction rather than doubt. Stop hitting walls by running in directions that don't align with your authentic definition of success. Start making choices from a place of empowerment rather than fear. 

✨ Ready to Redefine Success on Your Terms? ✨

If this episode resonated with you, imagine what’s possible when we dive deeper together. Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply ready to elevate your life and career, my coaching programs are designed to help high-achieving women like you find clarity, balance, and transformation.

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Transcript

Welcome to Success Strategy Session

Speaker 1 0:21

Hello , hello and welcome to this live . Just give me one second , okay . Hello and welcome to this live success session . So my name is Lauren Riley and I'm delighted to be leading you through this . I hope we'll be about an hour of our time . If we run over , I'll give you a warning towards the end . If , um , we're going to run short , that's also fine .

Speaker 1 1:10

I'm very respectful of everybody's time and I want to deliver maximum value in this session . So , um , if I feel like I've shared everything that we need to , then that's okay too . I am a strategist , so so you could think of me as a fusion between a coach and a mentor , but delivering results . So I'm very much affected with use of time . The women that I work with , they're all high achieving women and they're all successful in their own right . So I know time is your precious resource . So thank you so much for joining me and I hope you'll get a lot out of today .

Speaker 1 1:50

So I'm just going to

What Does Success Mean to You?

Speaker 1 1:54

run through quickly what we'll be talking about today . So I'll start with a big question , and my question is what does success mean to you now ? Um , if you visited my website , which is laurenrileycouk , you'll see one of my um taglines . Is success as unique as you are , because every single woman answering that question would give me a different answer , and that is absolutely fine , that's perfect . That's what we're about making success feel good and that therefore has to come from you . So if I asked you the question , what does success mean to you ? I just want you to take maybe like 10 seconds to just think in your mind . If you've got a little notepad , write it down . Let's like just get a rough idea of what success means to you . Thought of anything , hopefully so .

Speaker 1 2:55

Um , but I want to let you know that the majority of time that I ask that question , people will list off a list of goals . Um , you , usually because I'm dealing with professional women it'll be a list of business goals , and that's great . Like there's nothing wrong with that at all , except for it's not success , it's not what success means to you . So so an example somebody wanted to work with me and the other day , when I asked them that just in like a preliminary conversation , the list of things that included you know , hiring A grade talent , you know , adding members to the team , closing a specific investment round , specific amount of funding and some philanthropic element to her business , so some charitable side of it and obviously the number of products she wanted to see out in front of people and all of those really laudable goals , but they don't map to what success means to that individual and that's a big piece of work to do .

Speaker 1 4:03

But just for the moment I hope it's given you like a little flavour and just by answering that yourself and what I'm going to do , I'll just run through what today's session consists of . So I'm going to introduce myself . I think my background will be super helpful and interesting . Here . I'll be inviting you to participate and so there's a direct messaging function here . So if you've sent me questions already , then I've tried to work that into what I'm delivering today and if you haven't , then feel free to message me here . If I can do it live , I will do , and if not , then follow up with me afterwards . Send me a direct message . My email is lauren at laurenrileycouk if you prefer that way , or my social media handle on nearly all of the platforms is miss lauren reilly . So instagram and linkedin , etc . And at the end I'll try and make time to do an exclusive q a if we have chance and if you ask them now anything or give any feedback , super open to it . We are going to walk through a framework for success today , and it's a framework that I work one to one with a lot of women on , and then we're going to do an exercise . So I want you to be able to walk away from this with value for your time and therefore we're going to give you a decision making framework to take forward which will hopefully help you with anything that you're stuck

Three Frameworks for Success

Speaker 1 5:29

on going forward . Then we're going to talk about a five , five pillars for success and I'll be sharing some client insight , some personal insight , um , and we'll whip through that and I'll pack it with as much as I can for our hour together .

Speaker 1 5:48

So who am I ? So , by background , I'm a solicitor , and I know a lot of people that follow me and are probably here today are from that background as well . I have been an entrepreneur for over 10 years now , so I guess that's what I'm most known for is my business endeavors , which is why , as part of my success strategy work , I'm also doing business mentoring . I , I guess , came under a bit of heat , if I'm honest , and when we started this um to niche down , um , but I couldn't , I couldn't leave the knowledge that I've got in business and the way that I could help women . I just couldn't leave it off the table . So , um , I basically work with people who , um , want to feel successful in their life , which is it tends to be a lot of like lifestyle work , but also will move into the business stuff to actually move the needle , and both things very important to me . So I've had massive career highs , like things that people only dream of , and I've also failed at a bunch of stuff . And wherever you are on your journey between success and failure , like , please know that I've been at both ends of that spectrum and I learned more from the things that didn't work than I did from the things that do . So please take that as comfort .

Speaker 1 7:15

I've been a professional speaker now for over 10 years . I've spoke on international stages in front of hundreds of people or more sort of private arenas , if you will . Forbes named me in the top 100 female founders to follow , which is pretty cool . I have scaled a business that I had in my own head . I literally had the idea behind my desk . I had no funding , no business experience and no way of getting it to market , and I've taken it from literally zero revenue obviously to in a single month earning 100k . And I learned a lot in that journey and I speak about it quite often as well . I think I'd be right in saying that I've been featured in every major UK publication media outlet , and so that's my professional side , but we're here to talk about both as well . So if you're thinking you're going to bring something to the table where it's a business decision or you're looking for more success in your professional career , that's definitely something that will help with . But I also am focused on the individual behind the business . Oh , that's Wilbur , by the way , my adorable Pomeranian . If you follow me on Instagram you'll see him a lot , um , but he's just wandering around in the background to add entertainment value . I'll say so .

Speaker 1 8:38

My personal journey um is actually quite , um say dramatic that I was trying to leave off the word trauma , but it's quite traumatic , I suppose . So I became a single mum really suddenly . I have a three year old daughter who is delightful . She's my absolute world . But it wasn't a very straightforward parenting journey , let's say that . And I was diagnosed a few years ago with PTSDtsd um , and I've been diagnosed with ocd . I've also got adhd . I have had some really , really challenging times . Now I got trolled , uh , not that long ago , um , by somebody .

Speaker 1 9:22

Say , you know , because I do life coaching and I do lifestyle work with women , like what was my like personal not my professional qualification , but my personal qualification to bring to the table was and I was like , wow , you have picked the wrong person here because I have , you know , I've really been through it , but I share that in case , because I don't know who's watching and what you're going through at the moment . But , like there is so much light at the end of that journey , I , um , if you can follow my example I know not everybody will come come out of it exactly as I did , but it was like I have deep gratitude for everything I went through and it led me to study positive psychology , it led me to study neuroscience , it led me into coaching and I have been on a massive healing journey . I learned so , so , so , so much and I now help women with that . I'm very little by that , so I condense that deep learning into helping others . So , like I said , share , comment , like along . If you've got anything you want to speak to me about , then I've got the . I believe I've got the chat open . I'm not sure if it's working , I've not used it before , but , yeah , please comment along . So , and if you have any aha moments , anything that really resonates while you're doing this , write it down and share it with me . I'd love to hear it .

Speaker 1 10:53

So today I'm going to share actionable strategies to help you redefine success and thrive in both life and business . I'll also explain how my success strategy sessions support you in making those changes and at the end , I'll explain how you can work with me if that's something that you're interested in . So I think you should . First of all , let's take a moment to celebrate . I think you should be proud of yourself because you're here . You have carved out this time , which I know you're busy , like there's not a single person that I work with that isn't absolutely like or wasn't absolutely up the wall busy . So you've carved out time from your day to watch this , so that should be celebrated . Um , but be in the moment , have you know , have your lunch , have a coffee you don't need to write anything down because I'm going to share notes and things afterwards but absorb as much as you can of this free information and I hope I really hope it moves the dial for you . So what ? Excuse me a little bit .

Speaker 1 11:47

So what I usually do is work one-to-one with people , so I've tried to adapt that for this session today and I'd love your feedback on that . So , um , what I would do , um to understand what , um , to give clarity to women , basically understand what success is to them . I'd be using positive psychology tools , which obviously I can't do through this medium . I can only do it on a one-to-one basis . But things like strength mapping and values-based work and I've been called a confidence coach before , which I actually don't like um , I love that I give confidence to women in what they do and I support them when they need it , but it doesn't do justice to the depth and breadth of what we work together on . But that is just an example of something that I bring Now .

Speaker 1 12:37

When I talk about positive psychology tools , it is going to sound woolly . Sound woolly like I get it . Um , I'm sorry that it sounds woolly , because there is nothing I can say on here that you are going to deeply understand what I mean , because until you've been through it yourself , you , you just can't , you just can't get it . So it sounds woolly , but I am the person that people go to for cutthroat , like getting from a to b advice , but I would back this science all the way because you are going to like it can be life-changing to , at a deep level , to intrinsically know your own compass for making decisions and for walking through life , you'll just , you'll walk differently , you'll stand up and you'll feel empowered , and it's really powerful stuff .

Speaker 1 13:30

So there are three frameworks

Personal Journey and Qualifications

Speaker 1 13:32

to what I do basically , and I would like to work with women across the spectrum , because I think just one has pitfalls potentially , but they are clarity , balance and transformation . So if you've been on laurenreillycouk , I talk more about them on there . But clarity is what I'm mostly talking , what I've mostly talked about so far , which is understanding what success means to you , and that will be deeply personal and as it should be , and nearly anybody that comes to me with a definition of success will walk away with a different one . And that's not because I'm foisting my opinions on them , absolutely not , like I talk away . I talk about how I come away from being called a coach because , um , some of the nature of coaching can be quite passive and what I'm finding is the women that are coming to me . They need to get places really quickly , so they want strategy work as opposed to just coaching , which tends to be leading them to find their own answers . I'm a huge fan of coaching . I do use it in the work that I do , but it's not everything that I do . Um and um , yeah .

Speaker 1 14:43

So clarity , defining success like game changing , what the mistakes I see people making and hands up like I did this myself is . I I ran really fast at walls really hard , knocked things over that I shouldn't have been able to do . But the problem was I haven't done this piece of work at the start , so I didn't know what success meant to me . And if you don't know what success means to you , like , yeah , you may , we may , fumble into it , may stumble onto it , but almost never are you going to get there because you'll get to your goal . But and I've done it before like I've hit my goals and I'm like , oh my gosh , this is it . I'm going to be so fulfilled and happy now because I didn't do the piece of work before to figure out what actually was going to , deeply , on a deep level , make me happy . So all the accolades in the world are not going to get you there if that's not actually mapped back to your success . So the clarity piece is massive .

Speaker 1 15:39

The next part that we'd have to work on is balance . So this is not exclusively for women and it's not absolutely gender specific , but it is something that we suffer from more because , like so , balance is about removing limiting beliefs . Basically , it's about removing we know what success is , what's standing in our way , what do we need to take away from you to make you successful ? Because it it's not always doing more , it can be doing less , taking things out . So limiting beliefs , societal expectations , what pressure are we walking around with ? It's weighing us down . That does not need to be , basically .

Speaker 1 16:19

And then the final thing is arguably the most exciting part , which is the transform part . And , like I said , if you've been on to lauramileycouk , you'll have seen it before . But the transform part and , like I said , if you've been onto lauren marleycouk , you'll have seen it before but the transform part is we get you there . We now know what success is . We now know we've removed anything that we needed to to remove to make to make you successful . And now we get there . That's when the mentoring comes in , that's when my entrepreneurial problem solving nature just goes full tilt and together I'll support you to achieve what this version of success was that you defined at the beginning .

Speaker 1 16:52

Okay ,

Decision-Making Framework Introduction

Speaker 1 16:53

so let's dive into this decision making framework . Then , like I said , you can make notes . You don't need to , just because I am going to follow up with you and share these for you and I want you to be so . I am going to read out and I'll drop it in the chat as well there are . I'm going to ask you what your strengths are , what your values are , what's important to you basically , and the reason I'm going to ask you that is it's going to underpin the decision making framework that we go through . I'm going to ask you that is it's going to underpin the decision making framework that we go through . So I'm going to read them out to you and you are going to pick , say , five of these that resonate with you .

Speaker 1 17:34

Ok , so five of these values , of these strengths that resonate so self-regulation , perseverance , prudence , teamwork , humility , humour , forgiveness , judgment , love , zest , hope , love of learning , social intelligence , fairness , gratitude , leadership , bravery , curiosity . Leadership , bravery , curiosity , creativity , kindness , perspective , spirituality , appreciation of beauty and excellence and honesty . So they are 24 strengths , so you are just going to pick five of those . I'm not going to read them out again just from time's sake , but I have made a note of them in the chat . So , um , completely unique to you now , you'll already have identified from the learnings that I've shared with you so far that the people that work with me on these almost certainly walk away with a different um set now . Um , there's a lot of science that underpins by getting to their , to their answers , but for now we can't we simply couldn't do that on a an hour chat . So you're going to just pick what resonates with you and we're going to go from there . So take your five .

Speaker 1 19:07

And now I want you to think of an example , so a decision that you've got to make Now . You can share it with me , afterwards you can share it with the group or you could just keep it personal to you , basically . So are you struggling with a decision ? Basically , is there anything that you require a framework to decide ? So that could be personal , professional , anything in between . So I've got an example here . So you've been offered a promotion that requires more hours but also provides higher pay . How are you going to use a framework that we're going to go through together today to answer that ? So the framework has five key questions in it . Again , I'm going to share these with you at the end .

Speaker 1 19:59

So , remember , we've picked five values out and you've got your own personal question to answer . So does this align with my top values ? So , does this decision honour what's most important to me , basically , so we've got our five values , we're overlaying them off the top of this decision . So we've got our five values , we're overlaying them off the top of this decision . And does it support what's most important to me ? Some of these will be really obvious . You'll be like well , no , because you know , my top value is bravery , and actually I'm being asked to stay where I am in the role that I've been in for a long time , and that's not . That doesn't feel brave to me . I'm not stepping up , I'm not getting promoted . I'm being asked to stay where I am , in the role that I've been in for a long time , and that's not . That doesn't feel brave to me . I'm not stepping up , I'm not getting promoted , I'm not leaving , I'm not starting my own business .

Speaker 1 20:52

Whatever is the heart led part of your decision making . So it could be very simple , but if it , if it isn't important , if it doesn't honour what's important to you , you can end up with internal conflicts and dissatisfaction , and that's not a positive place to be at all . So that's number one is does this align with my top values

Five Key Questions for Decision Making

Speaker 1 21:12

? Number two what is the long term and what is the short term consequences of these actions ? Now consider how that goal is going to affect your relationships , your business , your career . Like what's a long term and short term impact ? The next question is am I making and I love this question , probably apart from the defining success piece is , if you were to take anything out of this session , this is what I would be like obsessing over and it's a beautiful thing to watch unfolding clients .

Speaker 1 21:49

But is this decision coming from fear or empowerment ? Am I making the decision from a place of fear or a place of empowerment ? Now , that is a game-changing question because so often and again I feel like this is gender specific . Women are because of that middle part that I talked about before , the balance part . You know we've got societal expectations , pressure , things that are expected of us from others , so a lot of the time we're making decisions out of fear and living a life and I've done it myself . I've been through a hell of a lot I shared with you before , some of it like the high level . I've done it myself . I made decisions from fear base , particularly like around money , like I went through a really difficult , challenging financial time . I was a single parent , all the things and that led me to fear making decision , fear-based decision making and nothing good comes from that like doing the work that I'm teaching women to do now means you will stand in your power , you will stand up straight , you will own your decisions , and making a decision from a place of empowerment lights you up , it's like electric and that's what I want all of you to get to , basically . So so fear based decisions will often lead to regret . It's really simple Empowerment . Empowered decisions about are based in clarity and they're based in confidence , and that's where we want you to be . What's the opportunity ?

Speaker 1 23:22

Next question , moving on , what's the opportunity cost of saying yes or no to this ? Now , it's a little . It's a bit of a bugbear like and I'm gonna give some tough love here in this part , because everything that you say yes to means you're saying no to something else , and I , like I said , I must have this conversation three times a week with women who , like , genuinely believe that they haven't got time for things like um , meeting up with friends or when it comes to , like , the balance stuff that we work on is in life , balance but you're prioritizing something else . You've said yes to something that is not meeting your top five values , that , if you'd have said no to that , would have left space for something else to fill it . That you hadn't . That now you can't , now you haven't got capacity for , because you've said yes to something else and that could be , you know , altruistic , you could be helping somebody , etc . Etc . And I'm not sitting here saying don't help anybody . That's not my message at all . But my message is make decisions based on this clear , clear matrix mapped back to you , and everything you say yes to is a no to something else .

Speaker 1 24:36

And the last one , um and I talk about this in a few ways , actually , how will you feel about this decision in six months time ? Now , that's not a science fact thing . Six months , actually , it's just an example . So I talk to people who get themselves overwhelmed , like , really overwhelmed . Is this decision going to be important to you in five weeks time , five months time , five years time ? And if the answer is no , then give it the proportional amount of energy that it deserves .

Speaker 1 25:11

And we've all been there . We get caught in a loop . You

Fear vs. Empowerment in Decisions

Speaker 1 25:14

know I had um postpartum anxiety like I know what anxiety feels like . I know how difficult it is to make clear decisions from that place . But if we get caught in a loop and we're obsessing over something and it's disproportionately affecting our life because all we have is now right , we're living for the moment .

Speaker 1 25:32

We get such a short time on this planet , we're going to make the absolute most of it and getting stuck in decision fatigue or obsessing over a decision that actually is not going to matter in five years time . I'm not deminimising what you're going through . I'm just saying give it the proportional impact that it deserves . And just to actually using that as a framework of itself could be really powerful if you could take that away as a standalone exercise . Next time you're caught in that angst of making a decision . Or am I doing the right thing , like leaving this friendship group , leaving this job , starting this business or walking away from that troublesome client ? Will this matter in five weeks , five months , five years ? And if the answer is no , give it that proportional amount of energy .